Giving Advice

Updated: Nov 6, 2020

Giving advice can be a tricky business, especially in these times, people are becoming less and less tolerant of advice. If you want to give an advice, you will have to think time and time again before saying anything, which eventually will make you wonder if it's even worth it.

Does that mean, however, that you shouldn't try to help others?

Of course not, for you only give advice because you care and out of concern for the other. In fact, sometimes you would be doing more harm than good when you withhold your advice.

Regardless of how much negativity you might receive from the other, and how much backfire and blame you might face, if someone matters to you, you will have to advise them.

Why? Because it will devastate you when you see the person you love in pain knowing that you could have done something about it. You can advise anyone if you only practice. This is a skill that becomes better with experience and observation.

The following is my advice to you when attempting to give advice.

Timing, timing, timing! You have no idea how many times a bad timing ruined a good advice. If you don't carefully select a proper timing to give your advice, you'll end up upsetting the other and yourself.

Try to pick up a time when the other is in the mood or at least not angry or anxious, and try to talk to them in a quite place where you can't be interrupted.

Give your advice in the form of a story and try to be as indirect as possible. This method will work fantastically well if you manage to distance the other from your story (advice) so that your advice reaches their subconscious rather than their conscious minds.

The major advantage of communicating advice in the form of a story, however, is that the other doesn't feel inferior, because when you give advice you automatically assume a position of power - something that no one likes at all.

Being indirect is best when giving advice, especially with very close people.

Just remember to think very carefully when you attempt to advise someone, and have a lot of patience, and by all means, avoid giving advice when you're mad or upset.